I didn’t expect a diagnosis to feel like both relief and heartbreak at the same time.

At the start of this year, when I was diagnosed with ADHD, everything finally made sense. All the quiet questions I carried for years , Why am I like this? Why can’t I stay consistent? Why do I hyperfixate on random things but can’t stick to the things that matter? suddenly I had an answer.

For a second, I felt like everything clicked, like I finally had the golden ticket to fix all of my problems.

I secretly thought the medication was going to “cure” me.

Straighten me out.

Fix the parts of me that always felt crooked.

It didn’t.

And that’s not how ADHD works. I know that now.

After the relief came the crash, the moment I realized this isn’t something I can just “discipline” my way out of. Then came the guilt. The shame. The heaviness in my chest because even with a diagnosis and treatment. I still find everyday tasks harder than they should be.

I wonder why I can hyperfixate on some random hobby at 2AM but can’t consistently cook at home.

Why I can dream about working out every night but wake up exhausted.

Why I make a budget and then forget it the next week.

Why I promise myself I’ll save money — and then a single impulsive moment wipes out the progress.

Why doing the smallest tasks feels impossible, even when I want to do them.

And then I replay every missed goal.

Every abandoned routine.

Every burst of motivation that didn’t last.

Every time I said, “Tomorrow I’ll do better,” and didn’t.

But here’s what I’m learning , what I’m telling myself, and hopefully even one person who reads this:

It’s not your fault.

Let that go.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not undisciplined.

You’re not weak.

Your brain is simply wired differently. ADHD makes sticking to routines harder not because you don’t care, but because your brain doesn’t regulate motivation or energy the way other people’s do.

That doesn’t make you broken.

It makes you human ,with a neurotype that requires compassion, not criticism.

And keep reminding yourself:

This isn’t your fault.

It’s not this hard for everyone.

You’ll get it.

Wake up tomorrow and try again.

You don’t have to measure yourself against people who don’t live inside your brain. They don’t feel the paralysis. They don’t understand the internal battles you fight before you even leave the bed.

You will cook more.

You will save more.

You will get stronger.

You will finish school.

You will build the life God designed specifically for you — at your pace.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

Nothing written for you can be taken from you.

It’s okay.

And you’re going to be okay.

You’re still becoming.

Your pace is still progress.